Asking the Right Questions

The Power of the ? in Small Groups

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If I were to ask you what you want to see happen in your small group, what would it be? Do we need more information or more transformation? In ministry, we are always trying to encourage discipleship within the environment of small groups.  A healthy group acts upon God’s Word while building close and Christ-centered relationships. A healthy small group is growing relationships with each other and healthy Bible discussion. How do we use the power of the question to build healthy Bible discussion?

Three questions to ask yourself as you ask questions in small groups: 

1. What is the main thought of the biblical discussion? Preparing a goal for each lesson into one sentence will help drive the main thought in each person’s heart. If a leader does not know where they are going, it can easily become distracted and run off course. Keeping the nights focused on life application will keep it fresh and engaging. As a leader, the goal should not be simply answering the questions. If a leader knows where they are going they will create tension that helps people seek God for the answers in life. The goal of discipleship is that people grow in their relationship with Christ. The most important aspect of growing in Christ is to understand and apply His word.

2. Am I willing to embrace the awkward art of asking questions? What happens when we only share information? It is called info dumping! People disconnect and look to one or two people who are the experts. If a leader quickly gives answers the rest of the group will become disconnected from the discussion. We have all seen it, especially in student ministry. "Okay, what does Jesus mean when He says, blessed are the poor in spirit?" The air in the room is quickly depleted while most look at their shoe laces. The leader feels the awkward silence and quickly answers the question. What happens is the students realize that each time a question is asked, if they are patient, they will not have to engage in the discussion. Many times I will simply say, "I enjoy the awkwardness, let's keep thinking about this question" and repeat the question in a fresh way. Embrace the awkward moments and do not let them off the hook or you will create a lecture based small group with people disconnected from God's Word.

3. Are my questions leading to more questions? Healthy small groups discuss the Bible rather than listen to one person give a lecture. I'm guilty of being the main one talking when I lead a small group. Discussion gives people the chance to ask questions and voice their struggles, opinions and thoughts. People want to know what God’s words means and how to apply it to their own lives. Questions should always lead people back to scripture. If a question is based upon an agenda, it is not a Bible study, but an opinion study. Opinions are important, but God's Word is the final source of truth. It is important to set aside one’s ideas, personal experience and opinions when studying and applying God’s Word.

What are your thoughts? What can you add to the list? How important is asking questions and discussing in a small group? 

Asking the Right Question

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We all make choices. What will we eat for breakfast? What college will we attend? Who will we date and eventually marry? Will I serve at church or just attend? In student ministry I have the opportunity to lead and encourage students. My desire and goal is to lead them to be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I am unashamed about leading students to love Jesus more than anything else. More than sports, friends and even their families. If they love Jesus it will result in healthy priorities.

I always encourage my leaders to not simply give advice, but to learn to ask the right question. The art of the question is crucial to dig out the priorities and beliefs of each person  you talk too. Too many times in my past I would simply tell the person what to do. All that I am teaching them is to have the correct behavior. Correct behavior does not always reflect the heart.

Few questions I've been asked:

  • "What is wrong with _____?" A great question to reply with is, "What is right with it?" Principle: Holiness is more important than happiness
  • "I'm just going to church but it is not like I miss all the time." Great reply question is, "Whatever is most important to you, you will do. What is most important for eternity?" Principle: Leadership starts with sacrifice
  • "My Dad/Mom are bad parents, I can't stand them!" A great response question is, "Are you honoring your parents based on their actions or upon God placing them in authority in your life?" Principle: Honor your father and mother.
  • "I like the beat, what's the problem with bad language in the lyrics?" A great response question, "Does the music you listen to bring glory to God?" Principle: What you fill your mind with affects your beliefs.
  • "What is wrong with dating a non-Christian, it is not like they are a "bad" person?" A great response question, "Does they love Jesus?" "If they love Jesus, don't you think they would follow and serve Him?" Principle: The person you marry is the second more important relationship, second to Christ.
  • "I want to make my own mistakes, why do I have to listen, you don't understand?" A great response question is, "Why would you want to go through life making unwise choices on purpose that hurt yourself, God, your family, and future children?" Principle: Choices affect all relationships
  • "I want to serve God, but what if I cannot commit 100% and make mistakes?" A great response question is, "Do you think God expects perfection?" "In the Bible, how many people made mistakes but God still used in a great way? Principle: God's grace is greater than our mistakes, He is never through with us.
Conversations can lead to a deeper level when questions are asked. The questions we ask need to focus on the heart of God. In leadership it is much more about asking the right questions than always having the right answer. If the right question is asked, we are leading students to dive deep into their heart to struggle through the answer. It is teaching long-term decision-making. In student ministry, we are teaching them about life, not just behaviors. Ask the right questions to get to the heart!