relationships

Source SM Recap: Volume # 28

FacebookOfficialSource LogoCurrent Series: Facebook OfficialTitle: “Relationship Status Update” Main Thought: The reality of what is inside a person is more important than what we see on the outside. The Word: Genesis 2:18-25, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Proverbs 5:1-5

Message ExplanationWe all face pressure, especially with our RELATIONSHIP STATUS. What happens on the inside is more important that what is on the outside.

Let’s go to the beginning as we discover what the Word says about relationships: 

Genesis 2:18: Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Genesis 2:21-23: So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”

“woman (WO-MAN!) is “isha” means she had her source in him.

Why do unhealthy relationships form?

Focused on lust not loveLove waits. Lust takes. As guys we have a built in desire to be conquerors and to “save the damsel in distress!”

 Guys need respect and struggle with insecurity. We look confident but under the exterior but want to measure up. “Mr. Confident and good looking is usually the most insecure!”

 Guys are visually driven. We want what we see, what we find so attractive in a person, to be a reflection of the entire person.

Proverbs 5:1-5: “My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
listen carefully to my wise counsel. Then you will show discernment,
and your lips will express what you’ve learned.For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
and her mouth is smoother than oil.But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
as dangerous as a double-edged sword.Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.”

Why do unhealthy relationships form?

- Dating like you are married. Girls are emotionally driven. Girls will lie to themselves that “this guy will change.” Acting married shows up in how they talk, act and spend time. It creates an “ownership” mentality that is only meant for covenant marriage relationship.

Proverbs 31:30: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”

Truth: Inappropriate intimacy now will affect future intimacy with your future spouse.

There is no perfect relationship, but through Jesus’ power we can have lasting relationships. Here’s the truth: If you look at the opposite sex the way Christ teaches, you will learn how to make them last.

How to build boundaries in dating:  

1.  Know Your BOTTOM-LINE! (How far is too far vs. what’s best for future) 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4: God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.”

2. Communicate Your STANDARDS!

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Job 31:1 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23

 3.  Avoid COMPROMISING SITUATIONS! 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8: “God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”

4. Get OUT when Necessary

What can you do to fight the temptation to settle only for what you see instead of what is going on beneath the surface?

To love Christ above everything and anyone. Matthew 22:37-39:Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

How would you define the relationships in your life? Are you obedient to Christ and His Word? Are your relationships under Christ’s control?

Element of Fun: We showed a video called, “Guys to Avoid” as an illustration to show that we need to focus on what is inside and not what is on the outside.

Music: Praise Him, Forever Reign, Revelation Song, Only to You, All I Need  is You.

Favorite Moment: Students sharing they want to fall more in love with Jesus during this stage of life and prepare for dating for marriage later.

What’s Next: We will continue the new series, “Facebook Official” as we talk about the whole idea of living, "happily ever after."

Stop and Start: Part 3 - Comparison Kills

A blog series on how families can apply the gospel into their pain and dysfunction.

I was recently listening to a message by John Ortberg on growing spiritually. It made me begin to think that many people spend their life looking around wanting approval from everyone.

The truth is...comparison kills the motivation for spiritual growth. It is normal in today's culture to compare. Comparison creates an empty hole in our heart where we feel like we will never measure up.

So what is the usual response? We stop, throw up our hands up and stifle our growth. It is an epidemic in churches and in families.

What we create is approval factories. Could we be building modern-day pharisees with modern traditions? We have a select group of people who everyone thinks that is untouchable. Are we trying to become the person that others want us to become? Are we building our approval from the wrong people? Are we so committed to "good" things that we are missing out on God's best for us?

In our relationships we have to make decisions:

Stop showing approval based upon the outward appearance. Flattery is based upon outside appearance or ability. God looks at the heart. Avoid building up your friends, children or co-workers based upon what they do but upon who they are. Look into the heart of those around you and ask the question, "how can I lift them up?"

Start encouraging people with the restoring love of Jesus.  In our relationships, we need to be sensitive to loving each other unconditionally. In order to stop living for superficial approval, we must pour out the unchangeable love of Christ. The person God has created us to become must be grounded in His unconditional love. God has created us uniquely for a specific purpose.

What voice are you listening to today? Listen. God's voice is saying, "I am FOR you!" No matter what anyone says, your identity and approval can only be satisfied in a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

The question is, are we becoming the person that God has called us to become?