What is a true friend?

Friends are our, “Amigos, buddies, pals, bros, comrades, and your posse.” God has wired us for friendship. We crave it and hunger for acceptance. Many times we make dumb mistakes just to be accepted and feel like we belong in a group. Friendship is a powerful aspect of life. How do we build true friends? What does a godly friendship look like? Are they just a person we have “fun” with?

“He who walks with the wise grows wise; but a companion of fools suffers harm (Proverbs 13:20 NIV).

"Companion of fools." Your greatest regrets revolve around being with friends.

"Suffers Harm." It is much more about who you are with, than what you are doing.

What does it mean to be a “friend?” A trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory.

• A friend admits when they are wrong and repents. A friend pushes you towards God instead of away.
• A friend is under authority. Humility defines their heart.
• A friend will encourage you even when you fail
• A friend will encourage you to live for Jesus.
• A friend knows you deeply and loves you unconditionally

What is influence? The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others. The people closest to you have access to your heart and mind. Who you surround yourself with has powerful influence over your decisions and future.

If your friends are not very concerned about their lives, they are not going to be concerned about yours. A true friend cares for your soul.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Friends influence us and have the opportunity to make an impact on our lives. Your friends are like the bottoms on an elevator. They will either take you up or take you down.

Guardrails in Friendship

We all agree guardrails are a good idea on an icy road through the mountains. What about when it comes to our friendships? God has wired us for friendship. We all desire friendship!  The question is, how do we build strong, lasting friendships? We have to understand that friends influence us and have the opportunity to determine the quality and direction of your life.   Friends will either bring you down or lift you up.

“He who walks with the wise grows wise; but a companion of fools suffers harm" Proverbs 13:20. Paul also wrote, “be careful how you walk because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:16. We live in a culture that is addicted to acceptance. We long for it. We crave it and sometimes at any cost emotionally, physically and spiritually. In order to discover true friendship we need to know the difference between a fool and wise person: 

A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn’t care. “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”  1 Corinthians 15:33. Your greatest regrets revolve around being with friends. We easily “drop our guard” when we are surrounded with friends. It is much more about who you are with, than what you are doing. Proverbs warns us that a companion of fools suffers harm!

A wise person is someone who knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses to do what is right, even if it is hard.

The people closest to you have access to your heart and your mind.

 Real Friends:

• Will encourage you even when you fail. 
• Will be under God's authority. 
• Know you deeply and love you unconditionally
• Will be a person you can trust to tell you the truth even when it hurts. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:6

Definition of friendship? A trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory. Instead of waiting for the perfect friend to come along, go and be that friend that you desire to someone else! 

How important is friendship? What are the qualities of a true friend?

True Friendship

I don't know about you, but having true friends can be hard to find.  We have all kinds of relationships but at different levels. Sure, we all have people that are our "Facebook friends" or "twitter followers" but I'm talking about friends that are committed to doing life together. I've been blessed to have friends in my life that have impacted me. God created us for relationship! "Friends will determine the direction and quality of our lives (7 Checkpoints)."

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

In today's culture, it seems to me that people are becoming more isolated than ever before. We have more technology than ever before in history but it has become a mask for the real need of face-to-face relationships. What is a true friend? Is it much more than an "acquaintance?" or "facebook friend?"

Ed Young Jr. used an illustration of a swimming pool where many times the shallow end is what makes up a majority of our relationships. We can go through life wearing "relational floaties" and never reach the deep end of friendships.

What does it mean to be a friend? – a trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory. We need Christian friends to survive in a world of isolation. We were not meant to live the Christian life alone! For those of you who have been true friends to me, you know who you are!

How do we understand which friend types to avoid?

• “Take what I can get” friend - Focused upon taking what they can for themselves at any cost.
• “Be happy I’m your friend” - Insecurity leads to conforming to be accepted by the "popular" people.
• “Friends with Benefits” – the more money and toys you have, the more people want to be your friend!
• “OCD: Must-know-everything-psycho” - busy-body who loves to gossip, if they gossip, they are doing the same to you when you aren’t around.
• A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. Proverbs 20:19
• “Must-Do-Everything-Together” - Selfish person who controls you to be together at any cost in such a way that you lose your own personal identity.

If you pick the wrong friends, you will pay for it. “If you sleep with dogs, you are going to get fleas.” Southern Proverb. Paul told the Corinthians, “bad company corrupts good character” 1 Corinthians 15:33.

What does your friendships look like? Are you a friend that pushes people closer to Jesus?

• When a need arises, can you be depended upon to follow through? A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" Proverbs 18:24.
• Friends will stick with you especially when you fail.
• Friends will lift you out of times of crisis.
• A friend will encourage you to live for Jesus. "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

In order to grow in our faith, we must learn how to build Christ-like relationships.

What steps can we take to move our friendship from shallow to real, creating a place of trust and accountability?

Jesus set the example of the ultimate friend, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13